Random Acts of Mind by Dones

I don’t mean this post to be disrespectful to anyone. These are just some things to think about as parents and grandparents (and we ourselves) get older.

Here are some general recommendations and observations I have gathered up regarding the death of a parent, and the ‘business’ of handling the estate of a lost loved one. Sure, some of these may be difficult or uncomfortable to discuss with healthy (or even unhealthy) parents. And some of the optional recommendations may be a little harsh, but sometimes the right things are tough to do.

1. Make sure your parents have life insurance, and that it’s paid up to date, in force, and enough to at least cover funeral expenses (plan on at least $10,000).
2. Make sure your parents have a will.
3. Make sure you know where your parents keep their will & other important papers & items (bank statements, bills, checkbooks, & others).
4. Make sure you know where your parents keep their address book / christmas card list, photographs, birth certificates, social security cards, insurance paperwork, etc.
5. Make sure all siblings know this stuff, too.
6. Make sure all siblings & parents have discussed (& ideally written down) the parents’ funeral/burial preferences. Talk with a funeral home if you need to know what details to discuss.
7. Make sure you do all of the above for yourself, as well, and encourage your children to get life insurance as early as possible.

Optional:

- Adult children with disabilities should be out of the family home before the death of the parents. This makes things easier for everyone. Honest.

- Same goes for adult children who don’t have disabilities. I know it’s tough to discern when people will die, but why not get all adult children to move out as soon as possible–parents definitely shouldn’t keep/allow kids to stick around just because the parents don’t feel ready to be empty-nesters.

- If your parents live at home (as opposed to a nursing home), every time you visit help them get rid of at least 1 box of ’stuff’. There are keepsakes, and then there are just bits of crap they never use & refuse to throw out, sell, or give away.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 17th, 2007 at 8:10 pm and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.